It’s that time of year, yes… Valentine’s Day! Some of you just go all fuzzy at the thought of February 14th’s over indulgence of hearts, chocolates, candles, flowers, love, love and more love. However, for others, Valentine’s Day conjures up all sorts of horrible emotions that poke their head out with a vengeance making you feel worthless because you’re single on Valentine’s Day. If the dread of being single on this supercharged loved up day makes you want to run away and hide, ask yourself, why the hype on this one day? Honestly, it’s just another day. The pressure from the media and society to find yourself a date, have a romantic candlelit dinner (along with every other couple in that restaurant), spending extortionate amounts of money on flowers and gifts that become overpriced just because it’s February 14th, is just that, unnecessary pressure. I understand the wanting to feel loved, however, do you really think that the compulsion to cave to this social pressure will make you feel special and unique – not really, no. You, along with every other couple on the ‘Valentine’s Day conveyer belt’ will be doing the same thing. Don’t get me wrong I love to be romanced and spoilt but February 14th isn’t the be all and end all.
So what do you do when you’re single and it’s Valentine’s Day. Well let me start by saying I’ve been single for nearly three years. After a horrible breakup, I chose to be single and stay that way; until I meet someone who is worth spending my time and sharing my life with and not settling with any man just because he’ll do. During this time, I allowed my heart, mind and emotions to heal. I learnt a lot about myself but mostly, how to love me. I had to deal with my insecurities and issues that most women experience; rejection; fear of being alone; having no-one to love me; being single and wondering will I ever find love? Is there a soul mate out there for me? There have been some low times but also amazing times and I came through it. Now I’ve come to the stage in my life where I can honestly say I am content and fulfilled. I can now say confidently, you don’t need a man to complete you. Complete yourself first.
Yes, we all long to be loved, fall head over heels in love, be romanced, wined and dined, treated like the most special woman in the world and yes rightly so. We long for companionship, physical touch, intimacy and a desire to share our hearts and souls with that special someone. We were created to love and to be loved, but until that time comes here are my tips for the single ladies on Valentine’s Day and beyond:
Learn to love yourself first and foremost. Fill up your own love tank. Don’t wait for a man to fill it up for you… you can’t love if you don’t have that love fuel there first.
Wait for a man who will treat you like a Queen throughout the whole year not just on Valentine’s Day. Settling with a man for a day can cause a lifetime of pain; don’t lower your standards…wait for the man who gets you.
Enjoy your own company. Buy your own flowers, get your hair done and have a massage. Treat and pamper yourself. You deserve it. Learn to love your own personal space, if Valentine’s Day is about celebrating those you love, well then, start with yourself.
Spend time with your single girlfriends. Get them around for dinner. You can’t beat laughter and quality time with them.
Don’t let your relationship status on Valentine’s Day define who you are.
“I’m not single, I’m not taken, I’m simply on reserve for someone who really deserves my heart. They say good things take time and that’s true“. Anonymous.
Ladies, if you’re single, embrace it, own it! Celebrate who you are and where you are. Happy ‘love yourself day’ to all the beautiful single ladies out there.
Words by Carolyne Bastiaan
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