Deprecated: get_option was called with an argument that is deprecated since version 5.5.0! The "comment_whitelist" option key has been renamed to "comment_previously_approved". in /var/www/wp-includes/functions.php on line 5057
Deprecated: get_option was called with an argument that is deprecated since version 5.5.0! The "blacklist_keys" option key has been renamed to "disallowed_keys". in /var/www/wp-includes/functions.php on line 5057
Recently, my friend found some lustful messages from a boy to her 15 year old daughter. Although it was both strange and uncomfortable to be faced with such explicit evidence that “my baby” was no longer a little girl, that was not what made me close my eyes and fight the urge to interrupt her mother’s lecture at the time.
I cringed because my friend, after establishing that her daughter was still a virgin, urged her to keep it that way because that “is [her] most precious gift”.
“But why did that bother you?” You may ask. Well,
A woman’s value should not be reduced to what’s between her legs
Modern women are educated, skilled; able to influence and contribute to society in more ways than they ever could before now- both at home and abroad. As such, we should be viewed more holistically and no longer be discussed as commodities, sexual or otherwise.
Describing a woman’s virginity as her “most precious gift” suggests that she will lose her value or worth as soon as it’s gone
Not only is calling a woman’s virginity “her most precious gift” reductive, it suggests that she will lose her value and worth as a woman as soon as it’s gone (as evidenced in the language I’ve sometimes heard ascribed to such women, like “damaged” or “used goods”). This is a belief that, sadly, many women have bought into causing feelings of guilt, shame and low self-worth. I’ve seen the latter cause many women to settle in their romantic relationships because they’ve been taught no “godly” or “good” man will want them in such instances. But, more than that, these belief systems can destroy their relationship with God (when Romans 8:35-37 makes it very clear that nothing can or should separate us from His love).
Women should not be demonised for being sexual beings, especially when men typically aren’t
One of the things that served as both the frustration and inspiration to launching my website is the linear discussions that still exist about (Christian) womanhood. For example, whether it’s Eve, Potiphar’s wife, Delilah and/or Jezebel- we are taught that a woman who is comfortable with her sexuality is a “temptress” responsible for the downfall of godly men. Hence, women are taught to demonise their sexuality and see it as evil. Yet, if we are honest, men are not typically held to the same standards or scrutiny. Calling a woman’s virginity a “gift” plays into this narrative and inequality, further exacerbating the afore-mentioned feelings of condemnation.
“So, what would you have told your God sister instead?” I hear you ask
I know that this seems extremely counterintuitive, particularly since mainstream culture says otherwise. However, Romans 12:1 says that we should “present [our] bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is [our] reasonable service” considering all He has done for us.
God has given you free-will; so you can choose whether or not to adhere to these commands. Just know that there are both natural and spiritual consequences for every decision that we make. Assuming you know how to handle the former, let’s consider the spiritual perspective-
Also, don’t let any of falling short hinder you from “going boldly before the throne of grace” to continue your relationship with God, though. You are never beyond redemption and that is exactly why Jesus died for you. Therein lies your value, my love, and that is your most precious gift.
Words by Nina Dafe
Nina Dafe is the founder and editor of the Faraboverubiescollection.com, and author of “The Ultimate Guide to Eve”. Her mission is to help women understand God’s blueprint to womanhood and become the woman He ordained them to be. Start her free email course “Understand God’s Blueprint for Womanhood in 5 Days” now!
W TALK was founded by Tobi Olujinmi, who believes that the Christian faith has to extend beyond a Sunday and infiltrate every dimension of our beings. Our stories and conversations help your faith do just that. Get Started
Scroll to top
Please log in again.
The login page will open in a new tab. After logging in you can close it and return to this page.